Saturday, March 12, 2011

New blog up!

I started up a new blog with resources for my burlesque class students!  Check it out!

Charm School for Strippers Blog 

And thanks for a million views on YouTube as of January, 2011.  Big hugs and kisses, and please keep watching! 

Friday, December 31, 2010

And a Happy New Year!

Celebrate safely tonight!

If you like this photo, pop over to my flickr pinup site and look at the set from which it comes, "Granny Panty's Wild New Year's Eve"!

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas!

It's been a busy fall, but I promise to write an update soon!  Granny Panty's been a naughty girl, but she still hopes to find some STOCKINGS in her stocking!

Saturday, October 9, 2010

I'm sorry it's been so long since I've posted!

Granny's been caught up in a flurry of video-making for YouTube, live shows and benefits!  I wish I had time to do some more pinup photos, but my schedule this summer and early fall has also made that impossible.

So keep watching my YouTube channel this fall!  In September, the theme was "green" stripping -- burlesque you can do with materials you can find around your own house.  This month, October, my favorite month, it's "burlesque-grotesque" -- all the dark, goth, scary stuff I secretly love to do. 

I've received a lot of requests over the past months, so you'll start to see some special dedication videos go live in November.  Among them:  sheer nylon panty washing (while I'm wearing them!) and cake-sitting, part 2!  If you made a request or would like to make one, drop me a note on my YouTube channel.  If I use your idea I'll dedicate the video to you, plus I'll send it to you privately weeks or months before it goes live on my channel.

I hope you're having a lovely fall, or a lovely spring, depending on which side of the Equator you live! 

And France!  Ladies!  I love you!  47% of my viewers in France this last month indicate they are female!  That's my highest female to male viewership anywhere in the world!  Merci beaucoup et bisous, mes belles!

Monday, July 19, 2010

The last couple of weeks have been busy ones for taping.

I have ten new videos canned and waiting to go live on YouTube.  What is this creative frenzy Granny's experiencing?  Most of the new ones are "story" videos, but I hope they feature lingerie and stockings you'll enjoy.  One of them is the return of Granny Panty, Proprietress of Granny Panty's Charm and Etiquette School for Strippers in an exercise video! 

From my fan mail, it seems most of you enjoy the straight-on modeling videos most.  The part I enjoy most about making my videos is coming up with the scenarios, making the costumes and choosing the undies and stockings.  I guess you're just going to have to put up with the stories sometimes and hope for a straight-forward modeling video next week, huh?

And thanks for all your nice notes recently!  I'm glad you're enjoying the girdle and panty collection modeling videos.  Panty modeling was the viewers choice video.  So, remember:  I'm always taking suggestions, so drop me a line or a comment here!  I'd love to hear your ideas -- as long as they are within the boundaries of my performance capacities.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Today's video is completely different from my usual work.

I'm really, really proud of it.  You may have guessed, I'm just wee bit into erotic cosplay. Before I actually started making YouTube videos for my channel, this week's video is very close to what I imagined I wanted to eventually make. 

I still do have that fantasy of making many erotic videos in costumes and settings from my favorite paintings.  I don't know what it is about Pietro Longhi's paintings particularly, but they really turn me on.  "Casanova's Daughter" is my tribute to the painter and his work, and reveals a little about what I'm imagining when I'm looking at his work.

But, never fear!  For every "artistic" video I make for me, I seem to make two viewer suggestion videos.  So don't worry too much.  The nylons and satin panties and vintage undies will always return!  You know I enjoy them too much to give them up!

Friday, July 2, 2010

Preview of the readers' choice poll video

Darn YouTube and its music copyright police!
I can't use the music I performed to, tried a replacement track they won't allow either, and now I'm uploading my third try!  Since I generally use music that's over fifty years old in my videos, it's always frustrating when that happens.  And I'm pretty sure I could sell iTunes for many of these songs, since people commonly write me to ask about them.  They should give ME a percentage rather than muting my videos :)

When the video goes live, play "I'll Build a Stairway to Paradise" from the movie American in Paris if you want to see what I had in mind originally. 

If my third music replacement is successful, the video will go live later today.  Hope you enjoy, and thanks for your input!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

The poll has closed.

Your votes indicate that panty modeling is what you'd like to see.

Okay, I'll get right on it!  Keep watching on YouTube in the coming weeks!

I have about half a dozen new videos all canned just waiting to go live in addition to this one I'll tape for you.  Thanks for all your nice mail recently, by the way!  And thanks for all your views; one day recently there were 2,400 views!  Must have been that vintage girdle video!

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Still four days left to vote in the poll

...about the subject of an upcoming YouTube video!  Or drop me a line! 

I haven't been a very good blogger lately because I've been busy making videos.  I have at least half a dozen story videos ready to go live, but don't leave Granny up to her own devices entirely.  I love to have your input!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Time for another poll on future videos.

Okay, darling readers.  I have five videos canned and ready to release on YouTube.  But those are about the end of my current to-do list.  I have a couple of ideas waiting in the wings, but after that...

Time for viewer input!

Here are some good suggestions I've had.  I'll put them in the poll on the right side-bar.  But you know you can always make requests, and if they don't offend Granny's delicate sensibilities, I may do them.

1.  Uniform modeling show.
2.  Pie-ing.
3.  Coming clean about my stocking addiction by modeling my collection.
4.  Modeling my satin and retro see-through nylon granny panties.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Live performance shots from my last show now up on my flickr site!

I totally slaved away on this red and black Marie-Antoinette costume and tiny tricorn hat, only to take everything off in under three minutes to the tune of "Too Darn Hot."  My pasties were flame-shaped!  I really love this costume, and it was worth a week of sewing when it was finished.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

The funniest thing about rehearsing a burlesque number...

is that you have to keep redressing over and over.  That's the most tiring part of practicing a number, not the dancing.  Since the many layers of the costume are all-important, it seems I spend more time practicing the timing of when a certain garment's coming off than I do on the actual movement.  Seriously, I've taken these panties off a dozen times to music tonight, rehearsing for Friday's live show!  And I had an electrical failure in a hand prop, and no time to replace it before the show, so that's out of the number.  Oh, well.  I'll just muddle through somehow, I guess!  I will be dropping clothes right and left, and that's probably what the audience cares about!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Live shot from a benefit Thursday night...

to help send some fabulous Austin, Texas, performers to Seattle for Freak Show-A-Go-Go.  It's pretty fun to give your stripper tips to charity!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Who wants CAKE?!

The cake-sitting video, "Granny Panty's Tea Party," goes live tomorrow on YouTube!

Monday, May 3, 2010

I was wearing this and we were filming...

when my air conditioner gave out.  Imagine what the repairman must have thought?  I would, of course, have had the dumb luck to have been wearing plastic clothes for a shoot in the heat!

But the "Barbarella machine" video is now taped and edited, and just waiting to go live on YouTube in the coming weeks!  Thanks, Babe Jaeger, for a fun shoot! 

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Today GrannyPantyBurlesque channel's odometer went over 100,000 views

...on YouTube since it launched Christmas Eve!

Seriously:  thank you all so much for watching my videos.  Your interest will keep me making them, and dreaming up new costumes and ideas.  And thanks for your sweet comments.  Really.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

This song reminds me of someone. Me.

Music by Kurt Weill, lyrics by Ira Gershwin
From the 1941 Broadway musical ''Lady in the Dark''.

There once was a girl named Jenny
Whose virtues were varied and many—
Excepting that she was inclined
Always to make up her mind;
And Jenny points a moral
With which you cannot quarrel—
As you will find.

Jenny made her mind up when she was three
She, herself, was going to trim the Christmas tree.
Christmas Eve she lit the candles—tossed the taper away.
Little Jenny was an orphan on Christmas Day.

Poor Jenny! Bright as a penny!
Her equal would be hard to find.
She lost one dad and mother,
A sister and a brother—
But she would make up her mind.

Jenny made her mind up when she was twelve
That into foreign languages she would delve;
But at seventeen to Vassar it was quite a blow
That in twenty-seven languages she couldn't say no.

Jenny made her mind up at twenty-two
To get herself a husband was the thing to do.
She got herself all dolled up in her satins and furs
And she got herself a husband—but he wasn't hers.

Jenny made her mind up at thirty-nine
She would take a trip to the Argentine.
She was only on vacation but the Latins agree
Jenny was the one who started the Good Neighbor Policy.

Poor Jenny! Bright as a penny!
Her equal would be hard to find.
Oh, passion doesn't vanish
In Portuguese or Spanish—
But she would make up her mind.

Jenny made her mind up at fifty-one
She would write her memoirs before she was done.
The very day her book was published, hist'ry relates
There were wives who shot their husbands in some thirty-three states.

Poor Jenny! Bright as a penny!
Her equal would be hard to find.
She could give cards and spade-ies
To many other ladies—
But she would make up her mind.

Jenny made her mind up at seventy-five
She would live to be the oldest woman alive.
But gin and rum and destiny play funny tricks,
And poor Jenny kicked the bucket at seventy-six.

Jenny points a moral
With which we cannot quarrel.
Makes a lot of common sense!

Jenny and her saga
Prove that you are gaga
If you don't keep sitting on the fence.

Jenny and her story
Point the way to glory
To all man and womankind.

Anyone with vision
Comes to this decision:
Don't make up—You shouldn't make up—
You mustn't make up—Oh, never make up—
Anyone with vision
Comes to this decision—
Don't make up your mind!

[Alternative refrains]

Poor Jenny! Bright as a penny!
Her equal would be hard to find.
To Jenny I'm beholden, her heart was big and golden—
But she would make up her mind.

Poor Jenny! Bright as a penny!
Her equal would be hard to find.
Deserved a bed of roses, but history discloses
That she would make up her mind.


And if I succeed with my plans to go to Buenos Aires to dance the tango for ten days next year in the tango bars, well...

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Why am I suddenly taken with the idea of making...

a Barbarella-inspired Orgasmatron for a video?!

That's gonna take some doing!

But I think I want to.  I'm also reminded of that mysterious box the house guests in one of Edward Gorey's illustrated stories got into and "comported themselves shamelessly."

Sounds like fun to me! 

Friday, April 16, 2010

YouTube comments are so strange.

How is that most of you immediately understand what I'm doing, and understand the comic element of burlesque performance?  And understand, most of all, that it is just that:  PERFORMANCE.

But why do I sometimes get snarky notes from people disappointed that I'm not doing cinema verité and naturalistic documentation and taking me to task for that?  Is it because they're hard-core voyeurs and that's why they're surfing YouTube, not because they're just looking for a little innocent, titillating entertainment?  I sometimes get the feeling these folks would rather I just set up a camera outside my bedroom or bathroom window and let it run.  Now, what fun would there be in that for Granny Panty?  I wouldn't make videos if I didn't enjoy developing a premise for the action, making the costume, choreographing it, etc.

My goodness!  These folks should just go subscribe to someone's livecam if they want naked reality television!

Monday, April 12, 2010

Got caught up on documenting many of the costumes from upcoming videos yesterday.

Here's a preview.  Do you know who I'm impersonating?  One of my greatest childhood idols, Daisy Mae from Al Capp's comic strip, "L'il Abner."  It was a dream come true -- thanks, Babe Jaeger!

Monday, April 5, 2010

Oh, it was Uncle H and Melissa who requested cake-sitting!

They sent me a really nice note suggesting it some weeks ago. And Uncle H wrote today to say he's looking forward to the video.

Granny is learning all about this fun new fetish! Did you know it's called, variously, WAM ("wet and messy"), splosh or sploshing by some? Or just good-old fashioned straight-forward "cake sitting" by others? And that some people enjoy pie-ing? Guess I'll have to look into that one next! See, kids, you're never too old to learn something new, fun and exciting!

Uncle H asked how I liked it and how it felt, so, here goes: the cake was butter cream frosted, so it had been in the refrigerator, and it was really cool, wet and slippery. It felt (ahem!) extremely sensuous, and it oozed all over the place. It was like sitting my fanny down in a huge vat of cold cream!

Actually, sitting in it was, I have to admit, pretty thrilling, since it was a first for me! I think you'll see when the video goes live that I was having a lot of fun and really getting into it!

And, yes: there are other messier pictures...

Thanks for asking, Uncle H!

Cake sitting...

complete. Video just waiting in the wings to go live eventually on YouTube. I'm not telling you anything else!

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Now, who was it who wrote me and requested...


If it was you, I may be able to help you out with that little kink of yours soon.

Stay tuned!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Thanks for your input. The new video is up on YouTube!

And if it wasn't the one you hoped, the good news is all the others will go up, one every two weeks. And if you are really interested, you could always go over to and see if perhaps they have an exclusive not on YouTube...

I'm still loving being part of the StripCHEEZ community, and you really should check them out! I got a brass stripper pole today as a gift!

And I'm starting to work on new costumes for a still photo shoot I hope will be happening in the next couple of weeks. I have a really, really elaborate costume I'm going to start tomorrow that is a longtime dream. We'll see if Granny's sewing skills are equal to her fantasies!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

It's just so hard to decide.

It's time for a new video to go live on YouTube, but there are so many choices!

Sexy secretary.
When Granny was a French teacher.
Esther Williams homage.
Hillbilly gals.
Granny trains new maids.

Opinions, anyone?
Lots of new material just waiting in the wings to go live in the coming weeks!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I love this!

I was recently told by someone that her gynecologist had asked if she had a positive role model for menopause, post-menopause and aging.  She says she thought for a minute and then replied, "Yes!  Granny Panty, Mature Burlesque Artist"!  This makes me soooooooooooooooo happy!

Just remember, Bobs and Tinas, you never get too old to take it all off as long as you do it with style and class! 

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Five, count 'em, FIVE new videos

...taped this week and just hanging out, waiting to be released one at a time on YouTube later this spring!  Thanks, Babe Jaeger, for fabulous shoots!

Now that I've used up most of my ideas that were queuing up, I guess I better put my thinking cap back on, huh?

And, oh:  Granny Panty trains her new maid is one of the videos.  Remember that poll I had up here a few weeks ago asking for your input?

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Final episode of "Charm and Etiquette School for Strippers" is up

...on YouTube!  And a little bonus material.  I'm sad to see the show come to an end, but I have to make way for all the new peepshows coming this spring!  Babe Jaeger and I shot three new videos over last weekend, and will shoot another couple next weekend.  If I can just find all the props I need, that is.  I need a moonshine jug and a pig, to start.  And I have to finish sewing new costumes! 

I put up a few photographs that were a side effect of this weekend's videotaping on my flickr today.  Immediately two of them got picked up by the "Accordion Lust" flickr site, which is fun!  The photos will give you a clue as to what one of the new videos is about.

And I got my first marriage proposal today on! I love those folks!  Where else, instead of tame old vanilla "favoriting," could your videos get you fabulous stripper gifts and swag like that?  And you get tipped in CHEEZbucks!  Granny Panty loves it!  Check them out!

And where the heck is The Isle of Man, anyway?  My YouTube stats tell me my videos are particularly popular there.  It's crazy, really.  My videos are viewed more in Europe than in the U.S., it seeems.  The new "Granny Panty, Mean Dominatrix" video got featured right away in Germany, Austria, Switzerland and Italy, and I see today it's now featured in the U.K., Belgium, France and the U.S.  Lots of people crave discipline, evidently!  Especially when served up with a laugh?

Friday, March 12, 2010

It's up! And it's pretty silly! Enjoy!

Granny Panty, Mean Dominatrix on YouTube

For a completely different viewing experience, try starting up the Velvet Underground's "Venus in Furs" simultaneously with the video.

Honestly, I must admit there were times when I was cracking myself up during the taping.

But the truth is this:  I know some of you naughty boys and girls really do want and need discipline.  And Granny Panty's the one to give it to you!

Monday, March 8, 2010

My arm is sore from making the dominatrix video.

But I love the way it turned out.

But I don't love the way that Lou Reed won't let me have the music I wanted as its soundtrack, or so YouTube informs me when I uploaded it.

Okay.  Well, back to the drawing board.  It will be even funnier when I drop in the music I've now decided to use.  Maybe it was a blessing in disguise?  You'll be able to decide once it goes up on YouTube at the end of the week.  Look for "Granny Panty, Mean Dominatrix" on the GrannyPantyBurlesque channel.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Oh, my goodness! I've been named StripCheez's CHEEZStar of the day!

Go there to check out this fun site featuring comic burlesque and strip tease videos.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Live performance shots from my last show now up on my flickr site!


They're not so great due to my rose-colored lighting in live performance, but at least you get the idea.  It was a great show and I really enjoyed performing my number in front of a live audience.  Although it's fun performing on video, there's nothing like the energy coming off a real, live, breathing audience.  I love being egged on and feeling the love!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Thinking about this upcoming weekend's video shoots.

I have a craving to make a dominatrix video.

What do you think?

If you loved me a lot you'd send me a contribution so I could get those 7-inch heel, patent leather front-lacing ballet boots I've been eyeing recently.

Friday, February 26, 2010

You better vote in the poll soon! Or write me a comment!

There are only two more days left in the current poll over there in the sidebar to your right about what Granny's next YouTube series should be about!  Please let me know what you'd like to see next, okay?

I'm definitely going to do a "Strippercise" exercise dvd, but that will probably be a separate project from YouTube.  So suggest away!  You know I love to hear from you and you give me good ideas!

And, yes:  I am still going to sit in a big frosted cake one of these days for a photo session or video.  Maybe right after I get through with the photo shoot where I'm wearing that special Easter costume I'm making.  And after the photo shoot where I'm wearing butterflies and very little else to celebrate the coming of spring!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Hmm. I wonder what's going up on GrannyPantyBurlesque channel on YouTube tomorow?

After all, it will be Friday.  And Granny Panty's "Charm and Etiquette School for Strippers" has to take a little break before the graduation video airs to allow viewers time to submit their final exam videos.

Oh, yes!  Now I remember!  Granny Panty's homage to MARLENE DIETRICH goes up at some point tomorrow!  I hope you enjoy it, because I really enjoyed making it and it has been a fantasy of mine for some time to do it.
 Granny Panty's Homage to Dietrich
And an accompanying still photo shoot goes up on flickr.  Follow the link in the right sidebar!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Do you think the guy who owns American Apparel

... would take offense if he knew I'm making an Easter burlesque costume out of an American Apparel tank dress and ten yards of fringe, which I'm dyeing green?  I was in there the other day buying the dress and a couple of thongs and chatting with the nice young man who was ringing my purchase up, telling him American Apparel thongs are what I always use on stage and that they're the very best for my purposes.  He said he had a feeling a lot of strippers shop at American Apparel, because where else would you wear certain things like the aluminum foil-colored hot shorts that they sell?  I often laugh at the pictures on the American Apparel website catalog.  It's like the next generation is entirely made up of total hootchies!  And they've been running a pretty amusing "best male/female ass" contest recently, to find the owners of the derrières that will be their new models.

I think American Apparel should hire me as a senior citizen spokesmodel.  I can't tell you how much of their stuff I wear in real life or adapt for the stage; love the colors and simple designs.  But knowing that an elderly burlesquer is wearing the same clothes might be a buzzkill for the young hipsters!

Friday, February 19, 2010

This week at Granny Panty's Charm and Etiquette School for Strippers

How to Strip Out of Nearly Anything! 
click on the link to see the demo.

We're getting dangerously close to the end of the course!  Better catch up on your lessons, do your homework and get ready to submit your final exam video in response on YouTube.  Because if you do and I give you a passing grade on your number,  I will send you your very own personalized diploma certifying that you are a graduate of Granny Panty's Charm and Etiquette School for Strippers!

And I may even have t-shirts available to graduates for a modest cost to cover making them and postage and handling!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Your valentine is now available for viewing on YouTube!


Follow the link in the right sidebar to my channel!

I'm doing a live show this weekend, so it's over and out for me now until Monday.  I hope you have a lovely, sexy, romantic St. Valentine's Day, and don't do anything I wouldn't do!  That means the possibilities are practically endless -- and you can even run around in public with heart-shaped pasties on like I'll be doing on stage tonight and tomorrow night!

Put make-up on, put stockings on...

get dressed, go to do a live show and get undressed again on stage. Such is the fabulous life of Granny Panty!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

I didn't put this in the poll, but what about Granny Panty's STRIPPERCISE?

You know, 1980's style, and I can wear legwarmers:)
And it can be like Jane Fonda's workout video from back in the day!
And it could be my excuse to record a heavy breathing Serge Gainsbourg/Jane Birkin-inspired song to go with it!

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Hmm. What's Granny's next YouTube series going to be about, I wonder?

Please vote, okay?  You'll find a poll in the right sidebar.

I really want to know what you'd like to see next!

And I'm thinking of running a "Who Wants to Apply to be Granny Panty's Maid" contest, too.  Do you think anyone would be interested?

You know how much I love it when you play WITH me!  You're going to have a chance to submit your video in response to mine on YouTube soon, when we get to the end of "Granny Panty's Charm and Etiquette School for Strippers" here in a couple of weeks.  Or did I neglect to mention that before?

Thursday, February 4, 2010

It will be Friday in a few minutes, and you know what that means!

Some time tomorrow a new two-part episode of "Charm and Etiquette School for Strippers" goes up on YouTube!  This week:  tricks and tools of the trade!  Class, don't be late!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Granny Panty responds to probing questions from her readers and viewers

Q:  "Are you a man or a woman?"
A:  Oh, that's one of my favorite questions of all time!  Can I give you several responses?

Number 1:  Yes.
Number 2:  I am a LADY.
Number 3:  I hope I am what Gerard Depardieu once said Catherine Deneuve is.  "She is the man I always wanted to be," to paraphrase from his original remark in French.
Number 4 (the l980's response):  More woman than you'll ever have, and more man than you'll ever be!  (Don't you just love that?!  It's so MEAN!  People used to say that all the time to each other in the clubs Back in the Day.)

Don't you find this to be true of yourself, too?

This question makes me think of a lovely song -- do you know it?  "For Today I am a Boy" by Antony & The Johnsons.  I prefer it to Beyoncé's "If I Were a Boy."

Q:  "Are you gay, straight or bi?"
A:  Again, thank you so much for asking.  I am delighted you have observed that Granny Panty is still a sexual being at her age!  The answer is, resoundingly, YES!  And it entirely depends upon who it is I am having a relationship with, thank you.  Don't you find that to be true of yourself also?

Or do you think of yourself in percentages?  Someone once told me they were 86% straight or something like that.  A numerical value on the spectrum, in other words.  I thought that was cute.

One of my young friends recently remarked, "I assume everyone is gay until they come out to me as straight."  I love that.

Q:  "Have you had any 'work' done?"
A:  Hmm.  I had my tonsils out when I was nine.  And my impacted wisdom teeth removed.  That's all there is to report!

Q:  "Are you Lady Gaga's grandmother?"
A:  I am so flattered that you asked!  I don't think so, but then again, I do have two sons -- so who knows?!  Maybe she's my bastard granddaughter.  If so, I am deeply blessed!

Q:  "Would you consider making a video where at the end you somehow end up sitting smack in the middle of a big, white frosted cake?"
A:  YES!  Absolutely!  I love this idea!  Someday you'll probably see me doing just that on YouTube.

I love answering your questions and it makes me happy to know I sometimes pique your curiosity!  Ask away, and as long as your questions are sincere and respectful, I'll probably answer them!

Monday, February 1, 2010

If Coco Chanel had designed burlesque costumes you think they might have looked something like this?

I don't even have a number in mind for this costume yet.  I just wanted to make it!

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Granny went to the best benefit ever last night...

in her black Marlene Dietrich tailcoat, black latex shorts and fishnets. And they had a SPANKING booth! Granny got three of the best spankings she ever got, all to benefit a deserving charity! My fanny feels great today, and I'm ready to be naughty all over again! Usually I'm the one dishing out the discipline, so this was a fun switch!

Friday, January 29, 2010

It's Friday, and you know what that means!

A new episode in Granny Panty's "Charm and Etiquette School for Strippers" goes live!  This week, Granny demonstrates (in the most lady-like way possible) the good old burlesque BUMP AND GRIND! I had a lot of fun making this episode, although we had to tape it twice due to a technical failure.

This weekend Babe Jaeger and I are going to do a new photo shoot and tie-in video for eventual airing on YouTube. I'm excited. It's a tribute to one of my all-time favorite movie stars!

And I'm in rehearsal for my mid-February live show these days. Wish me luck!

Monday, January 25, 2010

Thanks for all the kind words...

about the latest set of pinups with the silk stockings!

But, let me say that Granny cannot hold a candle to She who is the epitome of all a beautiful older woman should be.  Catherine Deneuve (pictured above in 2002, when she would have been 59)!  I will admit to harboring a terrific girl-crush for her, and I long have done!  There's a true beauty who constantly inspires me.  Sigh.  Hers is the face that could launch a thousand ships, a million fantasies!

J'aime cette femme!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

And the winner is...

Thanks, everyone who gave me their feedback and input!
This is the design that will be on the Charm and Etiquette School for Strippers diploma and t-shirts!

Babe Jaeger and I have been slaving away all afternoon...

photographing that new chaise lounge and those new silk stockings of mine.  Oh, yeah -- I'm wearing the stockings.  I didn't just drape them over the chaise lounge :)  Take a look at the new set up on my flickr site (see link in sidebar) and let me know what you think!  Just wish you could feel the stockings.  They are heavenly.  My darling blog readers get this extra picture!

Aside from the photo session, I've been making more new costumes for the show I'll be in in February and for another upcoming shoot.  I'm trying to imagine what a burlesque costume made by Coco Chanel would look like and then make it.  And I also made a costume that's a tribute to Gypsy Rose Lee!

Friday, January 22, 2010

It's Friday, and you know what that means!

New episodes of Charm and Etiquette School for Strippers just went live on YouTube!  This week:  legwork and proper facial expressions!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Thank you, Gay Place and the Austin Chronicle!

You Down With Granny P?

Thanks, Andy!  Thanks, K8!

And now, all you new Bobs and Tinas out there:  welcome to Granny Panty's Charm and Etiquette School for Strippers!

Now get yourself over to YouTube and start doing your homework!  A new lesson goes live every Friday!  Look for the link in the sidebar to your right.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Just back from stripper dance class!

It was fun tonight and a real hot, sweaty workout!

And now I need to start working out the choreography for my number in a show I'm in February 12 and 13.  I'm using Cole Porter's "Love for Sale" as the music.  I thought it was funny and ironic:  "Appetizing young love for sale..."  I'm using Shirley MacLaine's character Charity and Giuiletta Masina's character Cabiria as my inspirations.  You know, shopworn angels, hookers with hearts of gold.

I meant to tell you that my recent radio interview went well.  I think the hosts were a little surprised when I showed up in full burlesque costume, but what's a girl to do?  It was funny to see people at the radio station looking in the booth while the show was on the air, trying to figure out who on earth the dame with the pink feather boa was!  When the show's archived in a few days, I'll post the link here.   Heath, Steve and K8:  if you're reading, you are all dolls, and thanks so much for having me on!

And I've got to get everything ready for a special Valentine's Day photo shoot.  Darling readers, I have a brand new piece of FURNITURE to ride for you!

Sweet dreams now!

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Making costumes because I'm going to be on the radio Tuesday...

and I can't very well go on without a new costume, now can I?  Can't disappoint the listeners.

Wait.  They can't see me, can they?

Oh, well!  I'm making new costumes anyway!  Any excuse, right?

Thursday, January 14, 2010

New two-part episode of "Charm and Etiquette School for Strippers" is up

...and it's all about stockings!

Plus there's a new peepshow up -- very melodramatic.  I was inspired by Douglas Sirk and Lana Turner movies.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Logo designs: a poll.

Darling readers, which of these two possible Granny Panty logos do you prefer?

Friday, January 8, 2010

It's Friday, and you know what that means!

New episodes in "Granny Panty's Charm and Etiquette School for Strippers" are now showing on YouTube!  This week:  how to walk, how to select stripper gloves, and how to take them off!

GrannyPantyBurlesque Channel

Monday, January 4, 2010

You fabulous UK stocking enthusiasts...

are rocking my flickr pin-up site with your dry humor.  Thanks for all the comments!  And, my goodness!  Over 2,000 hits in just twenty-four hours?  I know we have a six-hour time difference, but do you folks ever sleep over there?

And when you do, do you dream of stockings, like me?

I just uploaded a special picture I made just for you to the SHQ gallery featuring the same Cervin bi-color RHT stockings in the candid snapshot above.  Mister Z is giving me smucks when I finally came home from shooting a video yesterday here. 

Sweet dreams!

Oh, my goodness!

One of my youtube videos got a splash page "feature" on New Year's Eve and so I got nearly a thousand hits on my very first peepshow!  The Granny Panty Burlesque channel is off and running!

New episodes of "Charm and Etiquette School for Strippers" go live on Fridays -- until the series concludes after twelve episodes, that is!  I have several videos canned and waiting to be released already.

Thank you, so much, everyone who's watching!  I hope you're enjoying the videos just a fraction as much as I'm enjoying making them!   Click here if you need the URL

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

New lessons canned for "Granny Panty's Charm and Etiquette School for Strippers!"

Babe Jaeger and I spent much of yesterday taping more lessons in Granny's on-line course on youtube.  We did feather boas and burlesque walking techniques, and it was fun!  If you subscribe to my youtube channel you'll receive notification when those units go live next month.  Because I'm NOT going to let you have them all at once!  My goodness!  You're greedy, aren't you?

Also canned and ready for broadcast:  lessons about how to choose the proper bras for burlesque and proper bra sizing considerations.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Sewing costumes!

In this economy, poor little old Granny is reduced not only to sewing her own burlesque costumes, but to sometimes posing as her own maid  when she answers the front door.

Yes, I am indeed whipping up a black satin maid's costume, complete with white ruffly apron tonight!  And, yes:  you will probably see it in pictures in an upcoming photo shoot.

And thank you, dear readers and flickr and youtube viewers, for all your recent nice notes!  Granny just loves to get fan mail!

A number of interesting questions have been posed to me lately and I'm thinking I may respond to them here on the blog in the very near future.  Would you like that?

Nighty-night now, sweeties!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Video shoot today for "Granny Panty's Charm and Etiquette School for Strippers"

I'm really enjoying taping this home study course!  I'll start to put one episode a week up on youtube after the first of the year and you can let me know if you're learning any new tricks from me, okay?

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Granny Panty's Wild New Year's Eve photos up

...on flickr.  Follow the link in the sidebar if you want to see more!

And, dear readers, unlike Norma Desmond,  I'm really making movies again!  Just launched a youtube channel, and am busily making "Granny Panty's Charm and Etiquette School for Strippers" videos for my home instruction course!  Take a look!

Granny Panty on youtube

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Loyal readers, a special present for you!

I wanted to reward you for reading my blog by giving you the link to my first youtube video a day early, before it appears on my pin-up site tomorrow.  Thank you so much for actually READING my silly ramblings here!

Granny Panty's Hard Day

Sorry, Germany!  For some reason youtube won't allow you to view my video!  Take the URL with you when you go on vacation if you really want to see it, since I'm not allowing embedding.

It's now officially Christmas Eve in parts of Europe!  So, Merry Christmas!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Santa's baby put some holiday photos up for you!

Follow the link to my flickr portfolio in the right side-bar!
And I promise you some very special presents later!

And, p.s.
Granny had a LOVEly birthday!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

What Granny gave herself for her upcoming birthday

Silk stockings!

Actually, they are courtesy of my loving mother, who is in Hawaii and so sent me cash before her departure to buy something nice for myself.  My mother is twenty-one years older than me and still incredibly beautiful -- she and Liz Taylor look alike -- and her current husband is eighteen years younger than she is.

I've never owned a pair of silk stockings before. Never made that splurge -- or investment, depending upon how one views it, not even when I could buy them in Paris and save the shipping costs.  I told myself it wasn't worth nearly $50 for the transitory pleasure a pair would provide before they got a ladder.  But the company in England I order my vintage seamed nylons from is running a Christmas sale, and there was no VAT added, and, well...

Oh! Dear readers, they are exquisite. Sheer poetry embodied in ephemeral material. And, enclosed in the lovely packaging was a note from their manufacturer in French that went something like this: "My silkworms have made the silk for you. My looms have woven them into the finest stockings in the world, made in France as they have been for a hundred years. I believe that every woman in the world deserves to wear a pair of my silk stockings once in her lifetime."

I put them on, and suddenly I understand why women's legs photograph the way they do in the 1920's. Silk stockings have a sheen, they give off a glow that is nothing like nylons, even vintage ones. They are very, very stretchy. Although sized to one's legs and feet, immediately I see the little lines and sags of the exquisite, supple veil of silk. And my legs look exactly like Zelda Fitzgerald's and Norma Shearer's and Lilian Gish's in the mirror.

Paradise. I just want to go take a hot bath, shave my legs, put the stockings back on and rub my legs together under the bedsheets all night. They are like a veil of honey. They are so soft. And now I understand how flappers rolled their stockings down -- something I never had a true, kinetic feel for before, even with my vintage nylons. I have insight into Fitzgerald's characters and into silent movies I never had until just now.

So, thank you, Mother, for the most exquisite, evocative, time-transporting birthday gift you ever gave me in my over half-century of living! I love them.

Darlings, if you wanted to give a very, very special holiday gift to a very, very special lady in your life, might you consider silk stockings?

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

If you're logged into facebook, you can become my fan!

Follow the link in the right sidebar.  And thanks!  Allegedly if I get a hundred fans I get a vanity url on facebook.  And there are advantages to that, I'm told.

But don't ask Granny.  I'm something of a Luddite, honestly!  I don't understand half of what you kids do with your laptops and digital thingamajigs.  And all that texting you youngsters do!  Oh, là-là!  My eyesight is not good enough to tap away on a cell phone pad!  And what's this "tweeting" you all are doing these days?

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Photos from the audience, last night's show

The show last night was so much fun!

(This is the costume from the first number.)

The audience was incredible last night, and my two numbers went off without a hitch!  Well, my panties got stuck on the heel of one of my boots when I was taking them off for just a second, but, luckily, I had the good old walker to lean on while I got them off.

Making two costume changes in a dressing room that was about 12F was not so much fun, but at least my pasties stayed on all night!  At one point I was wearing every single costume element I had for both pieces and a track suit on top of all of it just to stay warm!

Wherever you live, please go out and see some live burlesque during this holiday season.  You have no idea how much time, labor and expense -- and creativity and imagination -- burlesque performers put into these seasonal shows and you really should check it out.  Snowflake pasties!  Sexy Mrs. Santas and naughty elves!  Stripping out of coats and long striped stockings!  It's a once-a-year thing you shouldn't miss out on!

Friday, December 4, 2009

Show tonight, and it's snowing!

I am literally going to freeze my you-know-whats off!  But maybe I can warm the audience up?

Monday, November 30, 2009

Now I have TWO numbers in Friday's show!

Will I have a nervous breakdown beforehand?!  My goodness!  How can Granny even go to work with all the practicing she needs to be doing?

I watched Barbara Stanwyck's Lady of Burlesque the other night just to soak up the atmosphere.  If all else fails, I'm just gonna channel Stawyck's tough, wise-cracking stripper come Friday and hopefully everything will turn out just fine.

Honestly, my biggest concern is that the new kind of pasties I'm going to try out won't stick under the bullet bra I'll have had on top of them in my big number!  I think I should try wearing them to work one day this week just to see...

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Oooooooooh, it's so thrilling!

And a little scary!

I have a number in a show Friday, and I'm practicing!

What if something won't come off when it's supposed to with the music?  And what if one of the other people in the number and I get in each other's way?  What if I fall off the walker for real?

That's burlesque, though, right?  It's supposed to be funny!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

New photos up on my flickr!

Cheap detective series.  Underwear and stockings from Paris.  Thanks, Gigi Vox, for a fun shoot!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Granny's all shaved and lubed up :)

...(now wait a minute!) in advance of tomorrow night's photo shoot!

And I finished making the costume for my upcoming show.  It was a productive weekend.  I hope yours was, too -- or at least fun and relaxing!

Now, off to get my beauty sleep!  Nighty-night, all, and sweet dreams!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Photo shoot Monday night!

Making kinky masks!
Making costumes!

And making costumes for a live show I'm doing December 4 where I live.

Sunday, November 15, 2009


I love the music. Piazzola, Gardel, Tanghetto, Gotan Project. But I never danced the tango, because no one ever taught me how and I never had the opportunity. And I never traveled to Argentina.

But, tonight, all that changed. In four hours, with gentle, expert partners, I've begun to learn. I had no idea there was a tango underground culture here. I can do it. You close your eyes, you surrender, you wear high heels.

Yes, I'm into this. Tonight is definitely not the end of dancing the tango for me!

Monday, November 9, 2009

Who I want to meet: the most interesting man in the world.

The real one.  Not the Dos Equis ad actor.  The real-life most interesting man in the world.

And when I meet him, I'm gonna match him drink for drink, story for story.  I've been preparing for our meeting for a lifetime.  I'm gonna play Ava Gardner to his Hemingway.

I was thinking today:  maybe when my children and grandchildren try to explain me, I come off sounding a little like Auntie Mame.  And I think that's maybe not such a bad thing.  I grew up to become my own Auntie Mame, off to tour the world and have crazy adventures!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Just back from stripper class.

I've figured out I have to pad the top bar of that walker of mine if I'm going to be able to perform the kind of chair work I enjoy on it in public. 

All I can say is this:  Thank God for duct tape!  There's no end to what one can do with a roll of that stuff.  Between foam sheets and duct tape, I think I've figured out a solution.  And then I began to wonder why one can't use duct tape as the base for disposable, one-time use pasties?  After all, it does come in colors these days!

Nighty-night, mes chères!

Monday, November 2, 2009

I'm back!

And I bought a lot of stockings in Paris!  And some new garter belts.  I can't wait to show you!

I hope to be able to do a new shoot in the next couple of weeks when Babe Jaeger returns.  But I have a live show the first week of December and I have to start PRACTICING soon!

Mais, oui!  Oh, là-là!  I had better work it out!

I had a lot of wonderful adventures in Gay Paree, but I'll tell you this:  the shows are too Vegas these days for my tastes.  And it seems like all the "real" burlesque is being done by Brits living in Paris, ironically!

While there, I was asked by a Parisian banker to become his mistress -- but everyone knows Granny Panty is an independent lady, and so I have returned home to you just as pure as when I left.

No snickering, please!

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Darlings, I am in such a time crunch now!

I may not have time to write you again before I leave for Paris.  I'm off to do my research on whether or not it's true the titties of the showgirls at Le Paradis Latin truly fit into a champagne glass!

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Great photo shoot today!

Babe Jaeger did a wonderful job, and Granny tried out a brand new dresser, who also has to serve as nipple police during the shoots.  She was a doll, and maybe I'll tell you more about her later.  I'm cropping pictures tonight, and should have the new photos up for you on the flickr site tomorrow!

Sweet dreams!

Friday, October 9, 2009

Whee! I leave for Paris Tuesday!

But not before I do a photo shoot for you tomorrow!

Saturday, October 3, 2009

It's pouring, and Granny's been sewing on sequins.

Here's a preview of next weekend's photo shoot costumes.  Turquoise with leopard lace rhumba panties, and ruby red burlesque "bump" belt and bra.  What do you think?

Granny's making new costumes

....for next weekend's photo shoot!  2,800 views?  You know when we hit an increment of a thousand that's my cue you need more pictures.  And I'll have to leave you a LOT to last you while I'm in Paris for two weeks.

I'm bleary-eyed tonight from sewing on trim on a new pair of rhumba panties, but maybe, just maybe, I'll post a teaser tomorrow and you can tell me if you like what you see!


Sunday, September 27, 2009

New photos up!

Thanks to Miss Kitty Welborne, Granny's dear old friend, for her wonderful assistance and skills as a photographer.   And we had tea when we finished!  Babe Jaeger is out doing some kind of wildlife documentary in Africa this week, so Kitty was kind enough to fill in.  And Kitty and I definitely had some giggles while we took pictures!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Just back from stripper dance class!

We had a substitute teacher tonight, Miss Crystal, because Chi-Chi has an out-of-town engagement tonight!  Break a leg, honey, and don't violate any local ordinances!  It was a fun class, lots of working on "traveling," my favorite part of burlesque.  I actually worked up a sweat.  It's cold and rainy tonight, so now I'm brewing myself a cup of tea while dashing off a few lines to you, darling readers.

Thank you for all the positive responses and sweet notes about the new photos I put up Sunday on my flickr!  If you haven't had a chance to see them all yet, follow the link in the blog side bar to a whole new set.  And yes:  I have another session scheduled for next weekend.  Please take the poll or drop me a note if you have requests!

I was thinking, I wish you could smell my photos.  Granny P is quite a connoisseur of fine perfume.  I love perfume in the same way other people love fine wine, and I'm just about as persnickety about it.  As with wine, my taste in perfumes runs to the classic French houses, because, having a French mother and grandmother, that's just how I was raised.  I always really consider what perfume I will wear in a photo shoot to get me in the proper mood.  During the shoot I just uploaded, I smelled like a sweet little white frosted cake!  I was wearing Bal à Versailles (Jean Desprez) perfume and I was dusted with Chantilly powder. 

The French believe a woman's perfume should match her age, hair color and complexion -- did you know that?  When I was a little girl, I couldn't wait to become old enough to wear Shalimar (Guerlain), but a Parisian believes it shouldn't be worn by those under the age of thirty, and is a fragrance for brunettes.  It's what my mother, who was raven-haired, wore.  And then I grew up to be a blond!  Zut!  Alors, I just went ahead and made Shalimar my own anyway.  (Chanel No. 5 or No. 22 would have been the proper Parisian recommendation for me.)  I normally smell like Shalimar, Tabu powder and lipstick.  And sometimes a little guilty cigarette smoke and leather or fur mixed in. 

And did you know that people who love perfume and wear it daily and have a signature scent generally also really love sex?  Well, that's what the French say, anyway!  And they say that if you're wearing leopard print, it means you want to get laid!  C'est drôle, n'est-ce pas?

Sweet dreams!  I'm off to drink my tea!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

New poll in the sidebar for next weekend's photo shoot!

Please tell Granny Panty what you'd like to see her pose with, or wearing, in the next shoot!  Granny P has a pretty wild imagination, but she's always interested in hearing YOUR suggestions

Monday, September 21, 2009

Hard bodies. Soft bodies.

Granny P was thinking about that issue.  When I do a photo shoot, I have to make sure for about a day before to avoid any tight-fitting clothing because my skin is so soft at my age that I'll have clothing marks on it that will show up in the photos if I don't take care.  For that matter, sometimes I wake up and see even the creases in the sheets or pillow cases have left marks on my face and body!

That's what aging and loss of collagen and muscle mass do.  And I was thinking, you know, being soft is really not such a bad thing!  Our culture and the media seems to have put "hard bodies" on a pedestal for a couple of decades now.  I guess my question is this:  "What's wrong with a soft body?"

Soft bodies feel great to the fingertips.  I love it when I'm told my skin is extra, extra soft.  And I know why that is.  It's not due to any miracle creams, lotions or potions.  It's because I'm older, and naturally soft.  Hard, sculpted bodies and the tightness and elasticity of youthful physiques have their own beauty and their own charms, certainly.

But there's nothing wrong at all with being velvety soft to the touch, Granny P thinks!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

And after all that talk about DIY burlesque costumes

... I figure the least I owe you is a preview of everything I made this week, before the pictures appear elsewhere!

Editing Saturday's photo shoot and putting it up on flickr right now!

Go have a look and tell me what you think!  I'l be editing for days!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Photo shoots ...

Saturday and Sunday!  Watch my flickr for new pictures posting!  I'm so glad Babe Jaeger got finished working on that National Geographic project of hers in time!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Back from stripper dance class.

And I'm tired and need a hot bath!  I got a kink in my right butt cheek while executing an Ann-Margret-getting-out-of-chair move after some sitting leg work.  Ow!  I think I better go find the Epsom salts!

We worked with a man's button-down shirt tonight in class.  I thought how romantic it would have been if I were actually working with the shirt of un amant, all nicely scented up by him, as opposed to the one I ran by Goodwill to pick up on the way to class since I didn't have a man's white shirt lying around my house today.  The shirt I got was nice and evidently abandoned at the dry cleaner's -- clean, with tags stapled in it, steam-pressed, lightly starched.  It did the job, but ... (sigh).  It was hardly as sexy wearing it to do burlesque in as it would have been to wear a special someone's shirt and remembering running around wearing it and nothing else, bare-legged and bare-footed, the morning after a mad fling, trying to find my panties. 

I have yards of fringe and fishnets in the RIT dye bath, and the new costume I'm working on for next weekend's shoot should be finished tomorrow.  I'm getting excited as Saturday approaches.  And a package containing two new pairs of stockings arrived this afternoon!

Darling readers, you have but two days left to vote in the poll (see right sidebar) about what Granny Panty should pose with next or to send me a message if you have any special requests! 

Sweet dreams, sweeties!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Loyal readers pose questions.

Granny Panty is not going to tell you everything about herself just yet.  After all, we've hardly been introduced.  But I will answer a few questions today.

Q:  "Where are you, Mistress Granny?"
A:  Oooh, I like the way you address me so respectfully, so I'll tell you I currently reside in the United
States.  But I spend as much time as my modest income permits in France, the U.K. and Italy.

Q: "Are you married?"
A:  Not at this moment.  But I have often been in the past.  I can't tell you exactly how many times.  I started as a teenager and I truly can't remember all of my ex-husbands' names at the drop of a hat now.  My children claim I've had seven husbands.  Maybe that's true, but I recall some rather murky situations that might make my total higher.  I think the number is right up there with Elizabeth Taylor's and Zsa-Zsa Gabor's scores.  I call all of my ex-husbands "Bob," or "Robert (Roe-bair)" when I am in France and "Roberto" when I am in Italy so I can tell stories about them without having to keep all their names straight.  Granny is a resourceful, independent woman and never accepted alimony, by the way.  When a love affair is over, Granny cuts her losses immediately, packs up and moves on.  She's a true Romantic.

Q: "From what profession are you retired?"
A:  Granny was formerly a high school French teacher.

Q: "What is your nationality?"
A:  Granny's mother was a French war bride and her father an American soldier.  Vive le Marshall Plan! 

Q:  "Are you really a grandmother?"
A:  Yes, and my little angels are the light of my life!

Q:  "What characteristics do you look for in a partner?"
A:  A sense of humor, honesty, kindness and a boundless imagination for play. 

I hope your curiosity is a little satisfied!  But Granny believes a little mystery is a very good thing.

Monday, September 14, 2009

You didn't think I'd let a day go by without being in touch, did you?


Considering I didn't tell you how pole dancing class went yesterday?

It was really great!  Granny's teacher is incredibly talented on the pole, fabulously athletic and loads of fun.  She giggles a lot because she really enjoys what she's doing.  She was a little bruised up yesterday, since she'd performed on the pole the night before.

I'd asked her to help me figure out a new routine on my walker, and she had some wonderful ideas.  I just let her play around on it since she'd never had the opportunity to do it before, and she definitely used all her creativity and busted some moves even Granny never thought of before.  I'm too old to do some of the things she demonstrated, but, still, I'm going to put some of her less demanding moves into play.  Miss M has really lovely, lovely long legs and pretty feet and she really knows how to wrap herself around the apparatus!  Inspiring!  She ended with a full split on top of the walker for a big finish and that was really something to see!

At the end of our session two of Miss M's pole dancing colleagues arrived in the studio, both former Bulgarian Olympic gymnasts.  They were very enthusiastic about playing on the walker, too, and came up with some VERY athletic moves.  Granny's burlesque walker is just so much fun!  It puts a smile on everyone's face, and it makes you feel like a little kid again with a portable jungle gym.  Plus, if you're not dressed appropriately when you try it out, everybody gets to see your pretty panties!  It's just good fun all around for everyone.

Granny's been sewing on sequins tonight and will continue to do so tomorrow night in advance of next weekend's photo shoot.  And there's stripper dance class Wednesday night to look forward to!

Sweet dreams!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

DIY Stripper and Burlesque Costumes

In these tough economic times, it has been suggested to Granny Panty that she share her hints for making your own costumes. And I'm happy to do that.  Just as I admire Bettie Page for making her own costumes -- and for many other things -- it makes me proud that I make my own.  On a fixed budget it's particularly challenging to get new costumes, so I'm happy to share what I know with you.  I never buy an outfit from a stripper store because most of what I see there is too expensive, shoddily made and cheap-looking.  And who wants a cheap-looking stripper, right?

First, you do know your own lingerie sizes, don't you?  That's where we'll start.  We'll get in our cars or on the bus or subway and go to a national discount chain store, such as Ross Dress for Less or TJ Maxx in the States.  We've cleared a couple of hours for this adventure, by the way.  First we find our bra size, but if we want extra "oomph," we go down one cup size.  For instance, if I wear a 34C under street clothes, I'm going to buy 34B to use as costume bases so that I get that voluptuous overpour and extreme cleavage. We prowl the entire stock in our size, pulling out anything that looks promising.  We're looking for highly structured bras, by the way, not soft cups.  We're looking for underwire push-up bras, in other words -- Wonderbras, if we can find them.  Then we take the armload to the dressing room and find four or five we love that flatter our pretty parts.  Bras that once cost $40-50 in a department store we'll get for a steal at $4.99 at a discount house.

Next we go to the panties and start looking for panties that will coordinate with the bras we've chosen.  We'll consider any style:  g-string, thong, bikini, boy short.  This is the time to mention that white bras and panties are fine, because, next to Velcro, RIT dye is a burlesque artist's best friend.  You can buy white gloves, g-string, panties and bra and dye them all together to whatever color your little heart desires!  Get plenty of panties, and make sure some of them go all the way up to the waist in case you want to build a costume element like a tail onto the panties.  These lacies will set you back $1.99-2.99 a pop, as opposed to up to $20 at a department store last season.  You can get your g-strings here for $1.99, many times exactly the same ones selling for $16 at your local stripper store!   If you don't have enough garter belts, look here, too, and snag them for $3.99-4.99 as opposed to $20-30 elsewhere.  You should also look through the one-piece foundations, body suits, leotards and nighties while you're there.  You may find something good to use as the base for an old-time showgirl costume.  If it's bathing suit season, don't leave without checking them out, too.  While more expensive, swimsuit bottoms are much more substantial bases for building costumes on than panties.  Bathing suit tops, not so much.  I prefer bras for embellishment. 

For about $50 you should now have scored the base elements for five or six new costumes!  Of course, you could also have gone to Target, but there you would have paid two or three times more for what you have, and the quality's not as good.  You can also do your shopping at a thrift store (especially if you're looking for vintage bras), but you'll be unlikely to find sets there so you'll be spending quality time with RIT dye afterward, as a result.  Granny's a little put-off by the thought of her pretty parts nestling up where some other lady's did previously, so she buys her undies discount, but new.  And, of course, you can always raid your own lingerie drawer, if anything's appropriate and you're willing to sacrifice it to the cause.  Consider dyeing it a new color, if it's well-worn. 

Next we go to a chain fabric store, or the fabric section of a crafts store like Hobby Lobby.  We bring in our bag of new undies, because now the fun part starts.  Go up and down every likely aisle looking for things that match that you're going to encrust and embellish your bras with, and the tops or butts of your panties.  Fringe and stringed sequins are the natural place to start, of course, but look in the upholstery trims and at the lace, ribbon and pom-pom balls too.  If you really sew, make sure you have the needles and thread you'll need to do most of this by hand.  If you don't sew, stock up on fabric adhesives like Stitch Witchery and buy a low-heat glue gun.   Are any of your costumes going to be tear-away?  Then you'll need Velcro.  I recommend the soft, sew-in kind.  And do you need to sew snaps on to anything for easy removal?  Look in the netting department:  do you need net or tulle to make fanny drapes or headdresses?  Do you need cheap strings of beads to festoon your costume with?  Do you need feathers?   Just remember as you pick out things to work with that your audience loves everything that glitters, like sequins, or moves, like fringe. 

Before you leave, head to the felt squares section, and pick up any stiff felt you may need for making pasties to match your new stripper costumes.  A stiffened felt square will put you back about $1 and you can make at least half a dozen pasties out of one square, whereas the cheapest commercial pasties are about $10-15 a set! And, surely, you've already picked up enough sequins to decorate them!  There's a great pasties tutorial by Randi Kittens here:

Sadly, you'll find at the check-out counter that you've spent at least as much on the decorative add-ons to your costumes as on the bras and panties that are their bases.  View it as an investment, since you'll probably be able to use any left-overs on future projects. 

Go home now and spread everything out.  Squeal with delight and anticipation!  Look at how everything is working together.  Maybe do a little internet research for inspiration.  Sketch out some ideas.  Dye anything that needs a color change  -- the longer you leave it mellowing in the RIT dye the darker and more intense the color gets; I use a plastic waste bin, myself, as a dye pot.  Then knock yourself out, sewing sequins and fringe on your new undies for days and days!  I like to do it while watching old movies, because it's a labor intensive task and it's gonna take you a while.   But the result will be worth it.

When you're all done decorating, you may realize you need new stockings, gloves, boas, etc., to match.  If you stuck to one color family when you designed your costumes, you'll get by with buying fewer accessories because more will match many outfits.  As Halloween approaches it's easy to find lots of cheap boas, gloves and stockings.  And they'll be even cheaper the week after Halloween, if you can wait to stock up.  You can swoop up white fishnets after Halloween for about a buck, and dye them later, if you need to.  Same for cheap long white gloves.   The cheap marabou boas you'll find everywhere at Halloween for $5 are not so good for burlesque acts, but they're great as sew-on trim on costumes or in tail pieces.

Granny has to use all the money she saved making her own new fall burlesque ensembles on a real, high-quality boa.  That's gonna set her back at least $60.  But it's an investment, right?  And a very good boa played with effectively is just so sexy, isn't it?

So here's Granny's $45 worth of new costume makings for fall.  When they're all spread out you can see I can use black or white accessories I already have with them, and if I wanted to buy something new, fuchsia or hot pink would probably be the best color.  And they match the new pasties I made a couple of weeks ago.

Have fun making costumes, and fun performing in public or private with them when you're finished!  I think it would be a great gift idea to give someone a bag of undies in their size and a roll of sequins, yards of fringe, rhinestones and feathers as a DIY stripper outfit kit.   Your mother or grandmother, for instance.  With a cute Bettie Page postcard sending her all your love and many kisses.

Saturday, September 12, 2009


No, silly.  It's not a ghost.  It's the tear-away undies Granny's working on tonight.

I've been a little under the weather the past few days, and it's been pouring all day where I live.  I decided to stay in and try to get well and to do some of the sewing I've been needing to find time for.

So, I'm happy to report I have two new pairs of tear-away undies for performing live, several cute cuffs and collars, and the pièce du résistance, a beautiful French maid apron!   It nearly killed me making it, but it is lovely now that it's finished.  And I made the little ruffled cap to go with it.  Now I can be my very own French maid!

And, speaking of French maids, I don't think I mentioned it before, but Granny's off on one of her frequent trips to Paris next month to soak up atmosphere, culture and the shows at Crazy Horse and Moulin Rouge.  It's research, darlings!  I'll have to leave you with plenty of photographs to last you while I'm gone.

Thanks for all the Flickr views!  1,000 in just over a week!  This makes Granny really happy and keeps her inspired to take more pictures for you.  I have a shoot scheduled for next weekend, just as soon as my dear friend and regular photographer, Babe Jaeger, gets finished working on a wildlife documentary.

I'll sew a little more, then off to early bed for me so that I'm feeling up to my pole dancing class tomorrow afternoon.  Nighty-night and pleasant dreams.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Just back from stripper class.

Which, as usual, was loads of fun.  I love my teacher, Chi-Chi, and tonight she brought along another of the burlesque artists in her troupe.  Did I tell you Chi-Chi is a Betty Page-type, with dark hair and black eyes and red lipstick?  And that she always wears really high-heeled patent pumps?

My problem in burlesque class is that I am naturally more of a jazz dancer, and the way I normally tend to move is more à la Bob Fosse.  Chi-Chi says that's not a bad thing.  I just tend to want to move more like the dancers in the "Hey Big Spender" number in Sweet Charity than, say, Tempest Storm.   I particularly like the "walking" part of burlesque, the double-steps and "Ann-Margret" moves, for instance.

But I learned something sad tonight, since we were working with boas.  Evidently my boas are undernourished.  They're not robust enough to properly do the really fun moves teasingly enough, because they don't give me enough coverage!  Granny's boas are inadequate :(  I guess I'm going to have to take up a collection -- or else I know what much of my first-of-the-month check is going for in October!  Poor skinny little boas of mine, good only for photographs, not for burlesque!

I'm doing GREAT with the long gloves, however.  I have learned so many fun new ways to take them off that I would never have come up with myself!  You take the first one off with a certain set of conventions, but with the second one -- well!  All bets are off and the ante is UP!  You have to top what you did with the first one.

And guess what we're doing next week?  I can hardly wait!  Chair work, and then, men's button-down shirts!  Yippee!

Granny's bad hip is hurting tonight from all the bumping and grinding, so she's going to take a hot bath and then, off to bed.  Sweet dreams to you!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Kinks and fetishes, oh, my!

Everybody's got 'em, you know, just like everybody's going to have to go to the bathroom eventually!

Granny is not going to reveal to you what her personal little kinky interests and exciting fetishes are.  But I leave clues.  You can sometimes tell by the props I use in my pictures and by my poses a little about what might give my own erotic imagination that little extra "oomph" that makes life fun.

I find what turns people on and what they enjoy seeing pictures of eternally fascinating.  You can always make suggestions about what you'd like to see me pose with, or wearing, in my pinups, you know!  But if your well-intentioned, good faith wish-list offends Granny's delicate sensibilities or is beyond the boundaries of her personal comfort or moral beliefs, then it won't happen.  Granny's pretty much an old-fashioned girl at heart, and she always listens to that little voice inside her.  (Remember in the cartoons, some character once said, "Get thee behind me, Satan, and don't push!"?)

But isn't it fun, for instance when you're standing in the grocery check-out line, to imagine what the people in queue with you are into?  Police uniforms? Mashed potatoes?  Inflatable pool toys?  Fabric swatches?  And remember, you just never know what you might be doing or wearing that's turning somebody on.  Isn't that a great thought?!  Doesn't that just make you smile?