Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Granny Panty responds to probing questions from her readers and viewers

Q:  "Are you a man or a woman?"
A:  Oh, that's one of my favorite questions of all time!  Can I give you several responses?

Number 1:  Yes.
Number 2:  I am a LADY.
Number 3:  I hope I am what Gerard Depardieu once said Catherine Deneuve is.  "She is the man I always wanted to be," to paraphrase from his original remark in French.
Number 4 (the l980's response):  More woman than you'll ever have, and more man than you'll ever be!  (Don't you just love that?!  It's so MEAN!  People used to say that all the time to each other in the clubs Back in the Day.)

Don't you find this to be true of yourself, too?

This question makes me think of a lovely song -- do you know it?  "For Today I am a Boy" by Antony & The Johnsons.  I prefer it to Beyoncé's "If I Were a Boy."

Q:  "Are you gay, straight or bi?"
A:  Again, thank you so much for asking.  I am delighted you have observed that Granny Panty is still a sexual being at her age!  The answer is, resoundingly, YES!  And it entirely depends upon who it is I am having a relationship with, thank you.  Don't you find that to be true of yourself also?

Or do you think of yourself in percentages?  Someone once told me they were 86% straight or something like that.  A numerical value on the spectrum, in other words.  I thought that was cute.

One of my young friends recently remarked, "I assume everyone is gay until they come out to me as straight."  I love that.

Q:  "Have you had any 'work' done?"
A:  Hmm.  I had my tonsils out when I was nine.  And my impacted wisdom teeth removed.  That's all there is to report!

Q:  "Are you Lady Gaga's grandmother?"
A:  I am so flattered that you asked!  I don't think so, but then again, I do have two sons -- so who knows?!  Maybe she's my bastard granddaughter.  If so, I am deeply blessed!

Q:  "Would you consider making a video where at the end you somehow end up sitting smack in the middle of a big, white frosted cake?"
A:  YES!  Absolutely!  I love this idea!  Someday you'll probably see me doing just that on YouTube.

I love answering your questions and it makes me happy to know I sometimes pique your curiosity!  Ask away, and as long as your questions are sincere and respectful, I'll probably answer them!


  1. The questions you get asked are tame compared to the ones I get asked. Or maybe they're just the ones you were willing to put to print! :)

    Love the answers though.

    Mandi x

  2. Hey, Mandi!

    Yes, I bet you get some doozies! ;)

    Thanks for writing, you doll!


  3. Dear Granny,

    A Haiku just for you:

    Oh the pictures,
    they don't lie,
    you're one hot Mama! :^)

    Glad I stumbled upon your little blog. Only had time to watch a couple of your vids (so far), but loved them. Especially liked the over the shoulder look you give and the two hands under the chin smile at the end of "Hard Day".

  4. Dear badside,

    Thank you so much! Please drop in often!

    Granny Panty