Sunday, September 27, 2009

New photos up!

Thanks to Miss Kitty Welborne, Granny's dear old friend, for her wonderful assistance and skills as a photographer.   And we had tea when we finished!  Babe Jaeger is out doing some kind of wildlife documentary in Africa this week, so Kitty was kind enough to fill in.  And Kitty and I definitely had some giggles while we took pictures!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Just back from stripper dance class!

We had a substitute teacher tonight, Miss Crystal, because Chi-Chi has an out-of-town engagement tonight!  Break a leg, honey, and don't violate any local ordinances!  It was a fun class, lots of working on "traveling," my favorite part of burlesque.  I actually worked up a sweat.  It's cold and rainy tonight, so now I'm brewing myself a cup of tea while dashing off a few lines to you, darling readers.

Thank you for all the positive responses and sweet notes about the new photos I put up Sunday on my flickr!  If you haven't had a chance to see them all yet, follow the link in the blog side bar to a whole new set.  And yes:  I have another session scheduled for next weekend.  Please take the poll or drop me a note if you have requests!

I was thinking, I wish you could smell my photos.  Granny P is quite a connoisseur of fine perfume.  I love perfume in the same way other people love fine wine, and I'm just about as persnickety about it.  As with wine, my taste in perfumes runs to the classic French houses, because, having a French mother and grandmother, that's just how I was raised.  I always really consider what perfume I will wear in a photo shoot to get me in the proper mood.  During the shoot I just uploaded, I smelled like a sweet little white frosted cake!  I was wearing Bal à Versailles (Jean Desprez) perfume and I was dusted with Chantilly powder. 

The French believe a woman's perfume should match her age, hair color and complexion -- did you know that?  When I was a little girl, I couldn't wait to become old enough to wear Shalimar (Guerlain), but a Parisian believes it shouldn't be worn by those under the age of thirty, and is a fragrance for brunettes.  It's what my mother, who was raven-haired, wore.  And then I grew up to be a blond!  Zut!  Alors, I just went ahead and made Shalimar my own anyway.  (Chanel No. 5 or No. 22 would have been the proper Parisian recommendation for me.)  I normally smell like Shalimar, Tabu powder and lipstick.  And sometimes a little guilty cigarette smoke and leather or fur mixed in. 

And did you know that people who love perfume and wear it daily and have a signature scent generally also really love sex?  Well, that's what the French say, anyway!  And they say that if you're wearing leopard print, it means you want to get laid!  C'est drôle, n'est-ce pas?

Sweet dreams!  I'm off to drink my tea!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

New poll in the sidebar for next weekend's photo shoot!

Please tell Granny Panty what you'd like to see her pose with, or wearing, in the next shoot!  Granny P has a pretty wild imagination, but she's always interested in hearing YOUR suggestions

Monday, September 21, 2009

Hard bodies. Soft bodies.

Granny P was thinking about that issue.  When I do a photo shoot, I have to make sure for about a day before to avoid any tight-fitting clothing because my skin is so soft at my age that I'll have clothing marks on it that will show up in the photos if I don't take care.  For that matter, sometimes I wake up and see even the creases in the sheets or pillow cases have left marks on my face and body!

That's what aging and loss of collagen and muscle mass do.  And I was thinking, you know, being soft is really not such a bad thing!  Our culture and the media seems to have put "hard bodies" on a pedestal for a couple of decades now.  I guess my question is this:  "What's wrong with a soft body?"

Soft bodies feel great to the fingertips.  I love it when I'm told my skin is extra, extra soft.  And I know why that is.  It's not due to any miracle creams, lotions or potions.  It's because I'm older, and naturally soft.  Hard, sculpted bodies and the tightness and elasticity of youthful physiques have their own beauty and their own charms, certainly.

But there's nothing wrong at all with being velvety soft to the touch, Granny P thinks!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

And after all that talk about DIY burlesque costumes

... I figure the least I owe you is a preview of everything I made this week, before the pictures appear elsewhere!

Editing Saturday's photo shoot and putting it up on flickr right now!

Go have a look and tell me what you think!  I'l be editing for days!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Photo shoots ...

Saturday and Sunday!  Watch my flickr for new pictures posting!  I'm so glad Babe Jaeger got finished working on that National Geographic project of hers in time!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Back from stripper dance class.

And I'm tired and need a hot bath!  I got a kink in my right butt cheek while executing an Ann-Margret-getting-out-of-chair move after some sitting leg work.  Ow!  I think I better go find the Epsom salts!

We worked with a man's button-down shirt tonight in class.  I thought how romantic it would have been if I were actually working with the shirt of un amant, all nicely scented up by him, as opposed to the one I ran by Goodwill to pick up on the way to class since I didn't have a man's white shirt lying around my house today.  The shirt I got was nice and evidently abandoned at the dry cleaner's -- clean, with tags stapled in it, steam-pressed, lightly starched.  It did the job, but ... (sigh).  It was hardly as sexy wearing it to do burlesque in as it would have been to wear a special someone's shirt and remembering running around wearing it and nothing else, bare-legged and bare-footed, the morning after a mad fling, trying to find my panties. 

I have yards of fringe and fishnets in the RIT dye bath, and the new costume I'm working on for next weekend's shoot should be finished tomorrow.  I'm getting excited as Saturday approaches.  And a package containing two new pairs of stockings arrived this afternoon!

Darling readers, you have but two days left to vote in the poll (see right sidebar) about what Granny Panty should pose with next or to send me a message if you have any special requests! 

Sweet dreams, sweeties!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Loyal readers pose questions.

Granny Panty is not going to tell you everything about herself just yet.  After all, we've hardly been introduced.  But I will answer a few questions today.

Q:  "Where are you, Mistress Granny?"
A:  Oooh, I like the way you address me so respectfully, so I'll tell you I currently reside in the United
States.  But I spend as much time as my modest income permits in France, the U.K. and Italy.

Q: "Are you married?"
A:  Not at this moment.  But I have often been in the past.  I can't tell you exactly how many times.  I started as a teenager and I truly can't remember all of my ex-husbands' names at the drop of a hat now.  My children claim I've had seven husbands.  Maybe that's true, but I recall some rather murky situations that might make my total higher.  I think the number is right up there with Elizabeth Taylor's and Zsa-Zsa Gabor's scores.  I call all of my ex-husbands "Bob," or "Robert (Roe-bair)" when I am in France and "Roberto" when I am in Italy so I can tell stories about them without having to keep all their names straight.  Granny is a resourceful, independent woman and never accepted alimony, by the way.  When a love affair is over, Granny cuts her losses immediately, packs up and moves on.  She's a true Romantic.

Q: "From what profession are you retired?"
A:  Granny was formerly a high school French teacher.

Q: "What is your nationality?"
A:  Granny's mother was a French war bride and her father an American soldier.  Vive le Marshall Plan! 

Q:  "Are you really a grandmother?"
A:  Yes, and my little angels are the light of my life!

Q:  "What characteristics do you look for in a partner?"
A:  A sense of humor, honesty, kindness and a boundless imagination for play. 

I hope your curiosity is a little satisfied!  But Granny believes a little mystery is a very good thing.

Monday, September 14, 2009

You didn't think I'd let a day go by without being in touch, did you?


Considering I didn't tell you how pole dancing class went yesterday?

It was really great!  Granny's teacher is incredibly talented on the pole, fabulously athletic and loads of fun.  She giggles a lot because she really enjoys what she's doing.  She was a little bruised up yesterday, since she'd performed on the pole the night before.

I'd asked her to help me figure out a new routine on my walker, and she had some wonderful ideas.  I just let her play around on it since she'd never had the opportunity to do it before, and she definitely used all her creativity and busted some moves even Granny never thought of before.  I'm too old to do some of the things she demonstrated, but, still, I'm going to put some of her less demanding moves into play.  Miss M has really lovely, lovely long legs and pretty feet and she really knows how to wrap herself around the apparatus!  Inspiring!  She ended with a full split on top of the walker for a big finish and that was really something to see!

At the end of our session two of Miss M's pole dancing colleagues arrived in the studio, both former Bulgarian Olympic gymnasts.  They were very enthusiastic about playing on the walker, too, and came up with some VERY athletic moves.  Granny's burlesque walker is just so much fun!  It puts a smile on everyone's face, and it makes you feel like a little kid again with a portable jungle gym.  Plus, if you're not dressed appropriately when you try it out, everybody gets to see your pretty panties!  It's just good fun all around for everyone.

Granny's been sewing on sequins tonight and will continue to do so tomorrow night in advance of next weekend's photo shoot.  And there's stripper dance class Wednesday night to look forward to!

Sweet dreams!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

DIY Stripper and Burlesque Costumes

In these tough economic times, it has been suggested to Granny Panty that she share her hints for making your own costumes. And I'm happy to do that.  Just as I admire Bettie Page for making her own costumes -- and for many other things -- it makes me proud that I make my own.  On a fixed budget it's particularly challenging to get new costumes, so I'm happy to share what I know with you.  I never buy an outfit from a stripper store because most of what I see there is too expensive, shoddily made and cheap-looking.  And who wants a cheap-looking stripper, right?

First, you do know your own lingerie sizes, don't you?  That's where we'll start.  We'll get in our cars or on the bus or subway and go to a national discount chain store, such as Ross Dress for Less or TJ Maxx in the States.  We've cleared a couple of hours for this adventure, by the way.  First we find our bra size, but if we want extra "oomph," we go down one cup size.  For instance, if I wear a 34C under street clothes, I'm going to buy 34B to use as costume bases so that I get that voluptuous overpour and extreme cleavage. We prowl the entire stock in our size, pulling out anything that looks promising.  We're looking for highly structured bras, by the way, not soft cups.  We're looking for underwire push-up bras, in other words -- Wonderbras, if we can find them.  Then we take the armload to the dressing room and find four or five we love that flatter our pretty parts.  Bras that once cost $40-50 in a department store we'll get for a steal at $4.99 at a discount house.

Next we go to the panties and start looking for panties that will coordinate with the bras we've chosen.  We'll consider any style:  g-string, thong, bikini, boy short.  This is the time to mention that white bras and panties are fine, because, next to Velcro, RIT dye is a burlesque artist's best friend.  You can buy white gloves, g-string, panties and bra and dye them all together to whatever color your little heart desires!  Get plenty of panties, and make sure some of them go all the way up to the waist in case you want to build a costume element like a tail onto the panties.  These lacies will set you back $1.99-2.99 a pop, as opposed to up to $20 at a department store last season.  You can get your g-strings here for $1.99, many times exactly the same ones selling for $16 at your local stripper store!   If you don't have enough garter belts, look here, too, and snag them for $3.99-4.99 as opposed to $20-30 elsewhere.  You should also look through the one-piece foundations, body suits, leotards and nighties while you're there.  You may find something good to use as the base for an old-time showgirl costume.  If it's bathing suit season, don't leave without checking them out, too.  While more expensive, swimsuit bottoms are much more substantial bases for building costumes on than panties.  Bathing suit tops, not so much.  I prefer bras for embellishment. 

For about $50 you should now have scored the base elements for five or six new costumes!  Of course, you could also have gone to Target, but there you would have paid two or three times more for what you have, and the quality's not as good.  You can also do your shopping at a thrift store (especially if you're looking for vintage bras), but you'll be unlikely to find sets there so you'll be spending quality time with RIT dye afterward, as a result.  Granny's a little put-off by the thought of her pretty parts nestling up where some other lady's did previously, so she buys her undies discount, but new.  And, of course, you can always raid your own lingerie drawer, if anything's appropriate and you're willing to sacrifice it to the cause.  Consider dyeing it a new color, if it's well-worn. 

Next we go to a chain fabric store, or the fabric section of a crafts store like Hobby Lobby.  We bring in our bag of new undies, because now the fun part starts.  Go up and down every likely aisle looking for things that match that you're going to encrust and embellish your bras with, and the tops or butts of your panties.  Fringe and stringed sequins are the natural place to start, of course, but look in the upholstery trims and at the lace, ribbon and pom-pom balls too.  If you really sew, make sure you have the needles and thread you'll need to do most of this by hand.  If you don't sew, stock up on fabric adhesives like Stitch Witchery and buy a low-heat glue gun.   Are any of your costumes going to be tear-away?  Then you'll need Velcro.  I recommend the soft, sew-in kind.  And do you need to sew snaps on to anything for easy removal?  Look in the netting department:  do you need net or tulle to make fanny drapes or headdresses?  Do you need cheap strings of beads to festoon your costume with?  Do you need feathers?   Just remember as you pick out things to work with that your audience loves everything that glitters, like sequins, or moves, like fringe. 

Before you leave, head to the felt squares section, and pick up any stiff felt you may need for making pasties to match your new stripper costumes.  A stiffened felt square will put you back about $1 and you can make at least half a dozen pasties out of one square, whereas the cheapest commercial pasties are about $10-15 a set! And, surely, you've already picked up enough sequins to decorate them!  There's a great pasties tutorial by Randi Kittens here:

Sadly, you'll find at the check-out counter that you've spent at least as much on the decorative add-ons to your costumes as on the bras and panties that are their bases.  View it as an investment, since you'll probably be able to use any left-overs on future projects. 

Go home now and spread everything out.  Squeal with delight and anticipation!  Look at how everything is working together.  Maybe do a little internet research for inspiration.  Sketch out some ideas.  Dye anything that needs a color change  -- the longer you leave it mellowing in the RIT dye the darker and more intense the color gets; I use a plastic waste bin, myself, as a dye pot.  Then knock yourself out, sewing sequins and fringe on your new undies for days and days!  I like to do it while watching old movies, because it's a labor intensive task and it's gonna take you a while.   But the result will be worth it.

When you're all done decorating, you may realize you need new stockings, gloves, boas, etc., to match.  If you stuck to one color family when you designed your costumes, you'll get by with buying fewer accessories because more will match many outfits.  As Halloween approaches it's easy to find lots of cheap boas, gloves and stockings.  And they'll be even cheaper the week after Halloween, if you can wait to stock up.  You can swoop up white fishnets after Halloween for about a buck, and dye them later, if you need to.  Same for cheap long white gloves.   The cheap marabou boas you'll find everywhere at Halloween for $5 are not so good for burlesque acts, but they're great as sew-on trim on costumes or in tail pieces.

Granny has to use all the money she saved making her own new fall burlesque ensembles on a real, high-quality boa.  That's gonna set her back at least $60.  But it's an investment, right?  And a very good boa played with effectively is just so sexy, isn't it?

So here's Granny's $45 worth of new costume makings for fall.  When they're all spread out you can see I can use black or white accessories I already have with them, and if I wanted to buy something new, fuchsia or hot pink would probably be the best color.  And they match the new pasties I made a couple of weeks ago.

Have fun making costumes, and fun performing in public or private with them when you're finished!  I think it would be a great gift idea to give someone a bag of undies in their size and a roll of sequins, yards of fringe, rhinestones and feathers as a DIY stripper outfit kit.   Your mother or grandmother, for instance.  With a cute Bettie Page postcard sending her all your love and many kisses.

Saturday, September 12, 2009


No, silly.  It's not a ghost.  It's the tear-away undies Granny's working on tonight.

I've been a little under the weather the past few days, and it's been pouring all day where I live.  I decided to stay in and try to get well and to do some of the sewing I've been needing to find time for.

So, I'm happy to report I have two new pairs of tear-away undies for performing live, several cute cuffs and collars, and the pièce du résistance, a beautiful French maid apron!   It nearly killed me making it, but it is lovely now that it's finished.  And I made the little ruffled cap to go with it.  Now I can be my very own French maid!

And, speaking of French maids, I don't think I mentioned it before, but Granny's off on one of her frequent trips to Paris next month to soak up atmosphere, culture and the shows at Crazy Horse and Moulin Rouge.  It's research, darlings!  I'll have to leave you with plenty of photographs to last you while I'm gone.

Thanks for all the Flickr views!  1,000 in just over a week!  This makes Granny really happy and keeps her inspired to take more pictures for you.  I have a shoot scheduled for next weekend, just as soon as my dear friend and regular photographer, Babe Jaeger, gets finished working on a wildlife documentary.

I'll sew a little more, then off to early bed for me so that I'm feeling up to my pole dancing class tomorrow afternoon.  Nighty-night and pleasant dreams.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Just back from stripper class.

Which, as usual, was loads of fun.  I love my teacher, Chi-Chi, and tonight she brought along another of the burlesque artists in her troupe.  Did I tell you Chi-Chi is a Betty Page-type, with dark hair and black eyes and red lipstick?  And that she always wears really high-heeled patent pumps?

My problem in burlesque class is that I am naturally more of a jazz dancer, and the way I normally tend to move is more à la Bob Fosse.  Chi-Chi says that's not a bad thing.  I just tend to want to move more like the dancers in the "Hey Big Spender" number in Sweet Charity than, say, Tempest Storm.   I particularly like the "walking" part of burlesque, the double-steps and "Ann-Margret" moves, for instance.

But I learned something sad tonight, since we were working with boas.  Evidently my boas are undernourished.  They're not robust enough to properly do the really fun moves teasingly enough, because they don't give me enough coverage!  Granny's boas are inadequate :(  I guess I'm going to have to take up a collection -- or else I know what much of my first-of-the-month check is going for in October!  Poor skinny little boas of mine, good only for photographs, not for burlesque!

I'm doing GREAT with the long gloves, however.  I have learned so many fun new ways to take them off that I would never have come up with myself!  You take the first one off with a certain set of conventions, but with the second one -- well!  All bets are off and the ante is UP!  You have to top what you did with the first one.

And guess what we're doing next week?  I can hardly wait!  Chair work, and then, men's button-down shirts!  Yippee!

Granny's bad hip is hurting tonight from all the bumping and grinding, so she's going to take a hot bath and then, off to bed.  Sweet dreams to you!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Kinks and fetishes, oh, my!

Everybody's got 'em, you know, just like everybody's going to have to go to the bathroom eventually!

Granny is not going to reveal to you what her personal little kinky interests and exciting fetishes are.  But I leave clues.  You can sometimes tell by the props I use in my pictures and by my poses a little about what might give my own erotic imagination that little extra "oomph" that makes life fun.

I find what turns people on and what they enjoy seeing pictures of eternally fascinating.  You can always make suggestions about what you'd like to see me pose with, or wearing, in my pinups, you know!  But if your well-intentioned, good faith wish-list offends Granny's delicate sensibilities or is beyond the boundaries of her personal comfort or moral beliefs, then it won't happen.  Granny's pretty much an old-fashioned girl at heart, and she always listens to that little voice inside her.  (Remember in the cartoons, some character once said, "Get thee behind me, Satan, and don't push!"?)

But isn't it fun, for instance when you're standing in the grocery check-out line, to imagine what the people in queue with you are into?  Police uniforms? Mashed potatoes?  Inflatable pool toys?  Fabric swatches?  And remember, you just never know what you might be doing or wearing that's turning somebody on.  Isn't that a great thought?!  Doesn't that just make you smile?

Monday, September 7, 2009

Labor Day: Granny's got to clean up her house.

Look what's still lying around from Saturday's shoot!

If you're in the States, hope you are having a great long weekend and relaxing, or getting lots of things done around the house.  Yes, that's it!  Get busy around the house!  ;) 
But before I do my housework, I'm going to take Mister Z for a long walk this glorious, sunny morning!

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Oh, wait! Besides my Sunday sermon I had this for you!

My new leopard socks for winter!


Granny P loves fooling around with her photographs!  But it takes a lot of time to crop, color adjust and upload them here and to the flickr site.

And Granny P loves to get fan mail!  It makes all the time spent at photo shoots, getting the wardrobe together and editing the photographs worth it if you enjoy them.

But I was thinking, while reading some of my fan mail.  And maybe there's a profound truth in here in what I was thinking and wanted to share with you.  Granny P is exactly like the women in your lives, your wives, lady friends, mothers and grandmothers.  And that's why I put up my pictures for you to enjoy, and why I tantalize you with tales of my burlesque dance classes and the naughty underwear and props I buy.  It's to remind you that women, just like men, are sexual beings, and we remain sexual even long after the Change of Life.  We deserve love, affection and intimacy just like the younger gals.  And we might even know a few tricks those youngsters don't!

And I was thinking:  you know, you could give the woman in your life the gift of some fun toys, costumes and things like I enjoy playing with.  Think what fun the two of you could have playing together!  Think what naughty things you could get up to together! Most women love to come out and play with the person who loves them.  Usually, you just have to ask.

Now go have some fun of your own this three-day weekend!  Don't let me have all of it!

Loyal blog readers get some different pictures from those on my photo site

Top:  me and the most important man in my life, Mister Z(iegfeld)
Bottom:  Granny P says, "Always wear clean underwear!"
I'm bleary-eyed and going to bed now!  Sweet dreams!

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Exhaustion is nearly setting in, but Granny is plugging away...

on the new photo shoot.

I had to eat a banana for potassium!

It's Saturday, and you know what that means!

Another photo shoot, since it's the weekend!  I have a bunch of photos to crop and edit, but I'll be uploading them to my flickr over the next few days.
And look at those cute leopard socks I got yesterday!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

A funny outtake from the shoot for you

Always remember:  everybody's welcome to come over to play at Granny P's house!

I see London, I see France...

I see Granny's underpants!
I think I'm going to make a set of burlesque paper dolls from the plain underwear shots from last weekend's shoot.  Wouldn't that be fun?

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Just back from stripper dance class!

My teacher, Chi-Chi, is cute and a really great young teacher and I had a good time.  But I got a cramp in my left side during one of the poses.  We worked with long gloves tonight, which I really enjoy. (Did you know that in classic burlesque, the arm, hand and long glove techniques are meant to express what you'd do with your hands and a man's you-know-what?)  Next week it's boas!  Granny's gonna take a nice hot bath now and call it a day.

Looks like I'll be able to do another photo shoot over the upcoming three-day weekend!  I'm still processing last weekend's shoot, but I'll continue to upload pictures to my flickr as I finish cropping them.

Nighty-night, all!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Granny's been working on the photographs from the shoot all evening.

Here's the first one with the walker.  I think I have to wrap it in lights or black light tape or something?  Black light tape could be cool on stage:  with white gloves, pasties and g-string when the lights went out?